I am sorry

I'm sorry. Aku gak bisa bilang apapun skg.

Tapi satu yang pasti, I'm trying to do something.

I miss you gals too :*

Maaf kalo aku berubah, maaf banget :((

--Fa

Runaway

These days, I don't know why but I feel like drifting away. I dont know from what, or who or even why. I feel like thats a decent thing to do, you know like, I'm supposed to do that. Theres so many pressures that people gave on me. So, yeah.

I just wanna go to the mountain, alone, without cellphone and internet. I wanna go to Timbuktu, meet some people new, and being incognito.

Last Night - Keyshia Cole

Okay so, i'm telling you this is gonna be a long story so please make your eyes ready and clean it first. 

I admit that i have a crush on him, because 

he's like the nicest guy i've ever met and also the worst guy that i ever fell in.

Why it can be like that? Because I always fall for the BAD GUY and yeah i do admit that this time, he's bad, really really bad, it's worse! And then, the day i met him, it was the day that he recently broke up with his girlfriend and i was doing like an open relationship with someone, so I mentioned that person-i mean the person that i had an open relationship with- too many times and i kept texting with that person. He-the bad guy that i have a crush on-was so gentle at first and he's so zipped up that almost ignored me. It's harsh you know in my country when you (the boy) hanging out with a girl and you ignore her, you don't feel like she exists and you don't ask even a thing, it can make things go complex.

Next, so yeah like you all can guess, he was COMPLETELY ignored me until i was tearing to go back home. And so i thought : "If i didn't start, then I lose a chance to make friends". So I started to ask him abt something that was really really common to ask, i mean it's like yeah formality 

I don't get it :(

Have you ever feel rejected by someone? Especially when that person is supposed to be your bestfriend? It's like you see her lol-ing with your another bestfriend and when she sees you, she's suddenly zipped up and her face is like : "can you please just go somewhere out from this earth and away from my face?" And she avoids chitchatting with you and hates when you're happy or let say if you laugh? That is exactly what i feel at this very moment! I feel rejected by someone that i used to call as my bestfriend!

It's like I've never done something right and what I always do is a mistake.

And when she thinks you're wrong, you would never could deal with it UNLESS you beg for her forgiveness/apologize. That I always be the one who wrong. That she always blames me and I doubt that if she ever think about my advantage not hers :(

Confus-ing

nggak tau kenapa, akhir akhir ini aku jadi sering bingung sendiri. mungkin gara gara udah lama nggak ngeupdate blog kali ya. tapi recently, ada orang gitu, dia bilang namanya denada and he's a bit psycho actually.

i thought he was a girl so, aku kasih tau nama aku alamat sekolah dan alamat rumah. tapi lama kelamaan he acts like he's my boyfriend. yang bikin aku stres, kalau handphone aku mati pasti langsung banyak banget sms dari dia. dia nelfon aku malem malem, sekitar jam 1 ato 2 an lah. segala cara udah aku cobain supaya dia berhenti neror aku, dihalusin dikasarin, semua. sampai akhirnya aku ganti nomer karena udah nggak kuat.
anyway, stop about the psycho guy. akhir akhir ini aku lagi addicted banget sama drama korea, judulnya boys before flowers. trus gara gara nonton itu aku berasa dibawa ke fairytale gitu deh. setelah aku selesai nontonnya, aku jadi bingung sendiri soalnya kayak berasa dibalikin ke dunia nyata. terus ada beberapa kejutan juga dari temen temen aku yang bikin aku surprised. sumpahh. bener bener never crossed in my mind banget. ada yang bikin aku kaget, ketawa, nangis, teriak, macem macem deh.

kesimpulannya : aku lagi bingung dan stres karena satu dan lain hal.

Am I Still Childish?

Well, i think I am